Isn't it funny how limitless an answer to one question could be, based on the person asking?
Everyday of my existence. I am tasked with the most powerful question of the century.
Do I kill myself or do I kill others?
As entertaining as that million dollar question is I have two simple reasons for not doing either.
One,would mean to not exist and there are way too many people I'd like to piss off by existing so, no.
Two, murdering don't exactly guarantee a glamorous life and although I'm bilingual when it comes to sexual preferences I'd like to not be raped in jail.
The only raping that is to be happening right now, is the raping of these Doritos and the broken x button on my gamer controller that I assumed I had popped into place five rounds ago. The stubborn button would not be compliant. I hissed at it and jabbed it like a hammer to a nail. Which only made it rebel even more. It snapped from the hosts contraption and fell on the pine soaked linoleum.
With a sigh of contempt I roll my eyes around in their sore sockets, entertaining the idea of retrieving it. Every time a thought of motion crept into my mind, laziness wasn't too far behind and then I felt I couldn't be engaged in such menial trifles.
That's what bells are for. I guess I'll give it another ring-ah-ding.
I perk up on the suede white sofa that had probably been stained with the mark of my existence and teeter forward reluctantly to snatch a silver bell that had been dangling off a leathery pink collar embroidered with flowers and gold trim .
I hold the collar to my ear and give it a thoughtless shake. The bell seemed to sound much more alluring when it wasn't around my throat. I could hear it's melodious chime and thought it beautiful or it would have been, if it had simply just been a bell.
If someone doesn't respond I'll just leave with the prize.
It's not like I had anything better to do but drink pop, eat junk, play games, break buttons and repeat until I was assigned another mission. Believe it or not there were sickos in this world that believe this was living the life and it was the closest thing to being alive but not close enough to make me ok with accepting this as life.
I chew on that thought, retracing my steps of extraction before I came up with a blank. I didn't have much time to ponder it once more. A lengthy gust of wind snatched around my face and the air thinned out. The lukewarm temperature climbed to deathly shot of ice and the waiting room that I had built in my mind to disguise limbos dreary report room began to drain and bleed into something scaly and dirty. Four walls that would never be clean formed around me and so did the smell of despair that I had so desperately tried to ignore.
Being close to a Reaper always put me in a snooty and aggravated mood.
Reapers are such show offs.
I had now been kneeling in a graveyard of jagged blood soaked bones and a cloudy black sky of smoke crept along the floor. Unimpressed,I gathered to my bare feet with the limber stretch and a gasm of yawns.
"You guys should be discredited, you're either never on time or too early but two days late is just rude."
Grappling my haul, I twist around to see the cloaked figure. Arrayed from head to toe in a black robe. The only distinguishable features of the entity were two small white pupils that pierced whoever were in their path. His ghoulish left hand had been clinched around an aging scythe with a steep point and intricate carvings down it's lethal body.
I held up the leash and it's glimmering bell. The soul trapped inside lay dormant with a faint glow.
"You're welcome." I offered walking the distance since he made it clear that he had no intentions to. I offer him the soul and he reaches out to obtain it, extracting it out from the core of the bell with a simple finger and letting the glow dance around his fingers like a frightened insect. He then pushed it past the transparent four walls, sending it off into the depths of limbo.
The soul was like a dim flicker of sunlight, being swallowed whole within the darkness.
Shiba Botaki, seven years old, he followed me everywhere...people liked kittens.
"Your parents...are a stubborn case."
"What's that supposed to mean."
should I be offended?
With a small growl I attach the collar back around my throat and roll my eyes. Reapers couldn't see. They were as blind as bats but they could detect feelings and somehow pinpoint your exact location by a single sound. They were like magicians with creepy tattered drapes as robes and a deck of cards. They dealt in every affair regarding the souls of man making sure everyone was delivered to the After.
Being dead and heartless aided them.
Being nearly dead does not help me or people like me.
There were thousands of us. Souls trapped between life and death based on the situation of our near death.
We are commonly known as the coma victims.
Rather then letting us fester in limbo like every other completely dead person we were tasked to bring in souls a more humane way since the reapers were too busy running limbo.
It's great to not be dead but at what price?
"You've gone to see your earthly body. Your body withers away hour upon hour and yet they will not be rid of that fervent vessel. They would rather watch you endure an endless sleep, a prisoner of your flesh, then to put your soul to rest. Selfishness at it's very...disgusting, core."
Of course the heartless bag of bones could talk. He had been dead since before time and had possibly never endured a single nerve of humanity, the pain of loss.
I didn't intend to respond with much heart. Reapers fed off despair and anger like a baby clinching to the nipple on bottle of milk. I sighed, allowing his thoughts to echo around in my head. It had been the only way of communicating.
"Well there's still a chance that I'll get to live."
I assure him, certain that all Guides had a chance of returning to their bodies if they complied to the quotas of a certain amount of souls and their physical body hadn't been unplugged.
"You seem awfully cocky for a half dead girl, though the offer still stands, not many pull through to make that leap back into existence. Your body is the only life line holding you tethered to the world up there. This is ...purely a race against time, so I'd suggest you get to your next assignment."
I couldn't agree with the robe of bones more. This doom and gloom lecture had been a series of an unfortunate many. The first orientation was practically terrifying because we were all new to this second world life and most of us were non-believers. It's taken Guides a few days to wrap their minds around the grand scheme of things but the moment I heard there was a chance. A chance to get my life back I clung onto this mission, this journey to claw my way back to the people I've loved.
There were so many things I didn't get to do, or say. I needed to say them...
Abruptly a gust of angry wind brushed my face and the unidentifiable Reaper had vanished in a flicker behind the very soul he had unleashed into the depth of the in between.
I had never endured the in between but every time I saw him release a soul. I was worried, that I was working on the wrong side but death was a natural occurrence even though it sucked being the one to push the hatchet.
It was the price to pay.
Do I kill myself or Do I kill others?
In this light, that question is neither entertaining or thought provoking.
It was kill or be killed but as limitless as the answers are.
The only answer for me is...live, by any means necessary.